It’s been a hell of a ride for year 3. As I drove home from a hockey game, I thought alot. I thought about how much I have left work at work and home at home. I remember my principal and I discussing the first year and how I needed a balance of work and home. The scale was extremely uneven weighing heavily on the work part. The second year wasn’t any better at best. I remember reading a blog post from Sam Shah about leaving the work over the weekend. And focus on me, myself. Clear my head. Do something fun.
I am happy to say that I’ve gotten to that place now. It took a while, but I feel like I am finally becoming the well-rounded educator I need to be to stay sane in this roller coaster of a career. I know the first semester was tough to step away from the school once in a while. But as second semester is slowly reaching its halfway point, it’s starting to look like I can have a well-balanced life. Yes, I still haven’t reached many of social levels I should be doing. But, I’m finding that social life and the future looks bright.
I can still remember the feeling of prepping the first year and thinking I will never get out of this building. I don’t interact enough. That shell is still holding me back.
Also, I know I have grown as a teacher. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve learned that those mistakes can get me into trouble if my head isn’t thinking clearly. I need to be the adult. I need to know that there are limits. Am I an expert at it? Definitely not. But I’m improving. Honestly, I thought I would never be the person who could have the guts to stand up to anyone. I thought I would be a terrible teacher because I let alot of people walk over me. Experience and time has most certainly given me room to grow.
As these last three months finish up year three, tonight has made me reflect the ups and downs this school year and the previous years have helped me prepare the “educator” in me to have fun for the “person” in me. Continuing on this road, it’s me I need to worry about. I come first. Stepping out of that shell.